Definite Purpose
My Future Requires a Definite Purpose
ReCode Series I Chapter 3
Last month, we met The Leader Beneath the Layers. We talked about unwavering courage, self-control, making definite decisions, taking responsibility and learning to lead yourself before trying to lead anyone else.
But there's one question I left you with:
Where are you leading yourself?
Because you can have courage, have confidence, make decisions and can do all the healing in the world but if you don't have a definite purpose....
Where the HELL are you going?
Most people aren't lost because they're incapable. They're lost because they haven't decided what they actually want. We've been trained to react to life instead of intentionally create one. Go to school, get the job, pay the bills. Take care of everybody, handle what comes next and somewhere in all of that...
We stopped asking: What do I actually want? Not what my family wants , not what looks successful and not what I think I should want. What do I want?
Napolean Hill calls it definiteness of purpose. I call it giving your inner leader somewhere to freaking go!
Purpose Doesn't Have To Be Some Giant Calling
I think this is where we make purpose way harder than it needs to be. We hear the word purpose and think: "What was I put in this Earth to do?" and now we're sitting there trying to figure out the meaning of our entire existence.
Purpose doesn't always have to be that big. Your definite purpose in this season might be:
I am rebuilding my finances.
I am creating a peaceful home.
I am growing my business.
I am becoming physically stronger.
I am writing my book.
I am learning to trust myself.
Purpose gives your energy direction and this is exactly why I created The 5F Compass.
Give Your Life a Direction
Your purpose isn't only about what you do for work. I don't want you building the business of your dreams while everything else in your life is falling apart. I want you to look at the whole damn thing: Faith. Family. Finances. Fitness. Fun. Instead of asking one giant question. "What is my purpose?" Let's break it down.
Faith - Where am I going internally?
What am I learning to trust?
What relationships am I creating with myself, God , Spirit and my intuition?
Who am I becoming when nobody else is watching?
Finances - Where am I going in my relationships?
What kind of relationships do I actually want?
What boundaries are required?
How do I want to communicate?
How do I want to love or be loved?
Finances - Where am I going financially?
Not just I want money:
"I want more money."
What is the purpose behind the money?
Security, freedom, experiences, generational change or impact? Money is the resources. What are you asking the resource to help you create?
Fitness - Where am I going with my body?
How do I want to feel?
Strong, energized, flexible, rested or connected?
What would honoring my body actually look like?
Fun - Where am I going with my enjoyment of LIFE?
What makes me feel alive?
Where is the laughter, the creativity, the adventure and the pleasure? When did life become something you only had to accomplish instead of something you're allowed to experience?
Now look at your 5F's and ask: If I had a definite purpose in each of these areas, what would my life look like 12 months from now?
That's a much different question than: "What should I be doing with my life?"
Now we have direction.
You're Heart's Desires Are Trying to Tell You Something
I believe our heart's desires are some of our greatest assets. They point towards experiences we haven't had yet. They show us possibilities. They reveal potentials within us that are waiting for our attention. Yet how often do we immediately talk ourselves out of them? Be realistic, be grateful for what you have. Don't ask for too much. Don't get your hopes up. You can't afford that. You're too old. You don't have the education. You don't know the right people. What if you fail?
So we dismiss the desire before we've even given it an opportunity to breathe. But there are some desires that don't leave you alone. You ignore them. You can get busy, you can put them on your shelf for five years, you can convince yourself they're unrealistic and somehow that damn thought comes back.
What if I actually did it?
What if I wrote the book? What if I started that business? What if I traveled? What if I created financial freedom? What if I really allowed myself to become the person I keep seeing in my mind? Pay attention to what keeps calling you. Don't automatically dismiss it. Get curious about it.
There Is No Purpose Without the Thought
Before there was a business, there was a thought. Before there was a book, there was an idea. Before there was a different life, somebody imagined that life could be different and before purpose becomes something you can see, it begins as something you cannot. A thought, a dream, an idea or desire.
So maybe instead immediately asking: "What is my purpose?"
Ask: What is the thought of purpose for me?
What thought keeps returning?
What dream won't leave me alone?
What idea keeps tapping me on the shoulder?
What experience do I keep imagining and here's the big one:
What would I finally admit that I want if I wasn't responsible for figuring out HOW it was going to happen yet?
Start there.
Old Ideas Will Never Create New Conditions
This is the part we don't always want to hear. If I want a different life, I cannot continue thinking, feeling and making decisions exactly like the version of me who created my current circumstances. I can't ask for something new while remaining completely committed to the old version of myself.
Old ideas will never create new conditions. If I want something different, something has to become different. Maybe it's my thinking or my emotional response. Maybe it's my habits or my boundaries. Maybe it's how I handle my money or how I communicate. Maybe it's how consistently I show up or who has access to me. Maybe it's the decision I was to afraid to make. At some point, the future requires a definite purpose.
The ReCode Purpose
This is how I see the process:
THOUGHT - PURPOSE - ACTION - HABIT - CHARACTER - DEFINITE PURPOSE
Thought
Everything begins here.
What is this dream? What is this idea? What is the desire you keep returning to?
Without the thought, there is nothing to move toward.
Purpose
Now you give the thought direction.
You decide: This matters to me. I'm not just going to think about it anymore. I'm going to explore it. I'm going to honor it. I'm going to move toward it.
Action
Purpose without action stays an idea.
Eventually, you have to move. Make the call. Write the page. Create the plan. Review the finances. apply for the position. Start moving the body. Set the boundary. Ask for help. Have the conversation. Take the damn step!
Habit
One action creates movement.
Repeated action begins creating life. What you repeatedly do matters more than what you occasionally feel inspired to do. Eventually, the action becomes habit.
Character
This is where the transformation happens.
Your habits don't just change what you have, they change who you are. You become someone who follows through. Someone who trust themselves. Someone who keeps their word. Someone who can sit with discomfort. Someone who makes decisions. Someone who gets back up and someone who doesn't require immediate evidence before continuing. Your habits begin shaping your character.
Definite Purpose
Now you're no longer just wishing for the life, your becoming the person capable of creating it. Thought became purpose. Purpose created action. Repeated action became habit. Habit shaped character and character keeps carrying you toward your definite purpose.
Feel It and Know It Before You See It
Most people have been trained:
I'll believe it when I see it. I teach my clients differently. Feel it and know it before you see it. If you require physical evidence before you believe something is possible, how do you create something you've never experienced before?
You have to become willing to hold the thought before the evidence arrives. Feel the possibility. Know what you're moving toward. Make the decision, then move accordingly. And let's be clear. Feeling it doesn't mean sitting on your couch visualizing a million dollars while refusing to do anything. Knowing does not eliminate action. Knowing changes the action you take.
Ask yourself:
How would I make decisions if I already trusted myself?
How would I walk into the room if I knew I already belonged there?
How would I speak about my work if I already knew it's value?
How would I handle my finances if I were leading out of purpose instead of leading out of fear?
How would I care for my body if I saw myself as someone worthy of care?
How would I communicate if I wasn't afraid of rejection?
How much fun would I allow myself to have if I stopped believing I had to earn rest and pleasure?
Look at these questions again. Faith. Family. Finances. Fitness. Fun. Your definite purpose doesn't exist outside of your life, it's reflected in how you live it.
How Do I know If I'm Fulfilling My Purpose?
This is one of the biggest questions people ask:
"How do I know what my purpose is?" I think one of the greatest clues is aliveness.
Pay attention to what happens to you when you use your gifts. There are things we do because we are capable of doing them and then there are things we do that make us feel more like ourselves while we're doing them. Pay attention to the difference.
What makes you lose track of time?
What could you talk about for hours?
What do people naturally come to you for?
What do you keep creating even when nobody asks you to?
What experiences have you survived that you now feel called to help someone navigate? What ideas keep returning even after you've talked yourself out of it?
What makes something inside of you come alive?
Purpose doesn't always arrive with a giant sign from the Universe saying: This Is It! Sometimes it's been whispering through your desires, your gifts, your experiences and your ideas for years. You just haven't trusted yourself enough to listen.
Your Definite Purpose Audit
Get your journal.
We're going stop trying to solve our entire lives and start listening.
First ask:
Which area of my 5F Compass needs the clearest sense of purpose right now?
Faith? Family? Finances? Fitness? Fun?
Choose one.
Then ask yourself:
What is the thought, dream, idea or desire I keep returning to?
If I stopped worrying about how, what would I finally admit that I want?
Why does this matter to me?
Who would I need to become to experience it?
How does that version of me think?
How does that version of me feel?
What decisions does that version of me make?
What does that version of me do consistently?
What habit can I begin practicing now?
What am I currently doing that belongs to the version of me who had no direction?
What part of this desire makes me feel alive?
What do I need to stop doing?
What definite decision am I willing to make today?
What action can I take within the next 24 hours?
Now Complete:
My definite purpose in this season is ______________________________.
The person capable of creating it is _______________________________.
Today, I become that person by ___________________________________.
Don't write what sounds impressive or what someone else wants for you. Write what feels true.
From Healing to Leadership to Purpose
Three months ago, we started peeling back the layers.
Healing Happens in Layers asked:
What's underneath all of this?
Then The Leader Beneath the Layers asked:
Who's leading me now?
And now Definite Purpose asks:
Where am I going?
Healing gave us awareness. Leadership gave us self-authority. Purpose gives us direction. And your 5F Compass helps you see where that direction needs to show up in your actual life. Faith. Family. Fitness. Finances, Fun. Your heart's desires deserve your attention. Your ideas deserve exploration. Your dreams deserve more than becoming something you occasionally think about when life gets quiet. You don't have to know the entire road but you do have to decide where you're going.
Feel it. Know it. Decide it. Then begin becoming the person capable of carrying it, because old ideas will never create new conditions. And the future you're asking for? Your future requires definite purpose.
Laura El
The Intuitive CEO
This article was inspired in part by Napolean Hill's teachings on definiteness of purpose, decision, faith, persistence, organized planning and leadership in Think and Grow Rich. The ReCode framework, 5F Compass, interpretations, applications and excersises shared here reflect my own teaching and perspective.
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